It’s early in the morning. The voices won’t stop and you have been cutting yourself and smearing blood over the walls of the cave you are in. Your mind is going at a thousand miles an hour and terrible voices are telling you to go and jump off the cliff. The blood is flowing now and you suck some of it off your wrist and scratch at it and lick some more off and the voices won’t stop and you can’t stand still. You’re hungry, thirsty, insane with these voices, hurting from the blood flow in your wrist and your head is bursting with all of the confusion and you are wondering how you are going to survive another day in torment.
A wave of peace sort of knocks you over and the chatter of angry voices seems to lull for a second and suddenly you are running out into the sunlight searching for the source of this massive rush of power that had temporarily short circuited the angry voices and made a second or two of peace. You squint at the sunlight and as your eyes adjust it seems the sun is flowing off a man’s face dressed like a Rabbi walking up the path toward your humble abode. The voices in your head go wild with fear and they scream at you to go back into the cave and as you raise your hand to block the radiance coming off this man, you realize that your eyes don’t even want to look at him.
But oh the peace and it sort of surprises you to feel both a strong attraction to this guy and a strong repulsion to him at the same time and the voices are silent now as he gets within twenty feet of you and your realize that he has no fear of you and is intent on coming to see you and for the first time in many years you are feeling like you want the company of a stranger. From the looks of this man he appears quite peaceful and you squint and catch his face from time to time, but his radiance is just too much to keep your eyes on him, but oh you can’t keep your eyes off him.
He beckons you to himself and his eyes are so full of love and then as you grow close he commands the demons to come out of you in a short quick order. The only thing that happens is they start to scream again and you feel sick as though you are going to vomit such is the fear that has engulfed your stomach. But you instinctively know that the fear isn’t your fear and it’s the demons he is commanding that fear this man and you wait patiently for the Rabbi to make his next move.
He asks your friends that torment you what their names are and you hear your voice say Legion for we are many. And suddenly your voices are screaming in fear out of your mouth for him to have mercy on them and send them into the pigs that graze on the cliff nearby. With one quick command your torment is over and it’s like liquid oil flowing over your whole body and it soaks you with this awesome peace and finally you know that your mind is free and your tormentors have finally gone.
The keepers of the pigs are very angry now and approaching the Rabbi who smiles at them in a serene smile and they leave to go and tell the town around the bend and a few miles down the beaten track. A town you are not welcome in, a town that used to be your home, a place you used to live in when you were in your right mind.
The Rabbi asks one of his men to open his bag and they get out some bread and give it to you and open a flask of wine and hand it to you and he says sweetly, “Take and eat and drink your fill.”
You want to talk to this man, but you have only eaten scraps the pig keepers throw at the front of your cave once in a while and this is the first fresh and real food you have seen for years and you figure that the conversation can wait. The bread is so fresh and as you pull chunks out, the Rabbi asks his follower with the bag if there are any olives left and the follower says there are only a couple and the Rabbi insists that he gets them out.
Three olives are given to the Rabbi and he smiles at you and begins to juggle them and before your eyes the three turn into four and then five and then he starts to throw them to you and you catch them one by one as he continues to juggle. He always has at least four in his hands and they keep on appearing out of thin air and slowly as he throws them one by one at you your hands fill with olives until he stops when you can’t hold any more.
He gives a gentle smile and reaches over and rips some of your bread off and places it in his mouth with a couple of olives and you start to do the same with your bounty. He is chewing and smiling silently at you and your are busy eating and smiling back and nothing is said but the communication is the most love you have felt since your wedding night and yet with this Rabbi and this peace your mind remembers that not even your wedding night filled you with this much joy.
His smile sends waves of joy through you, the flavour of fresh olives explode in your taste buds and the experience was one that you knew you would remember for many years. You shake your head and look at the floating pigs in the water and hope the voices might never come back and you just can’t seem to come to grips with how radically your life had been transformed this morning. Your cut has been healed, the blood stain isn’t even on your wrist and your whole body is feeling so light that you feel you might lift of the ground and float like a cloud if things got any better.
So much is different and as you chew, you finally have had your fill to a point where you want to talk and you put the rest of the food on the dirt and ask a question.
“Who did you come to see Rabbi?”
“I came to see you my child. My Father in heaven told me that you have been crying for his mercy and the time had come for you to be set free.”
Tears well up in your eyes as there is no doubt that you are free but knowing he came just for you and that purpose is too much for your rejected and broken spirit to handle. You are full, you are healed and you have the most wonderful peaceful and powerful man you have ever seen telling you God loves you and has heard your prayers and has made a special trip for you and it is all too much. You take a minute and suddenly you are weeping without restraint. Sorrow flows out of you like a torrent and yet used to being embarrassed and feeling shame you have no problems weeping in public.
The Rabbi starts to talk to his followers gently and as you weep you can still hear his lilting voice telling them that this is their purpose on the earth, to set the captives free and bring liberty to the broken hearted. He speaks a little to them and then with his hand he lays it upon your shoulder and suddenly you get a jolt like lightning going through you and your crying stops in an instant and the peace is back in a bigger and stronger quantity.
You don’t get to ask your next question before the whole town is bearing down on the Rabbi with sticks and stones in their hands. He gently speaks to them and brings peace among them and agrees to their request that he should leave. He gets to his feet and pulls you up to your feet and invites you to walk with him down to the boat that you suddenly see now pulled up to the shoreline.
You walk down to the boat and he gives you some wisdom from God and some insight into the teachings that you knew as a child and then finally he is bidding you goodbye and getting into the boat.
You ask him if you can go with him and be one of his followers and he gives you the broadest grin and laughs.
It’s not a mocking laugh, it’s a laugh of joy and then he gently tells you that you need to go back to the town you once lived in and show them what a miracle this Rabbi had done in your life. He tells you what you need to tell them and tells you one day he will be back to check on what a good job you have done.
Tears roll down your cheek and they are bittersweet. All of your heart and your renewed mind wants to get on the boat, but you know also that the power that is in you and the story you have to tell will bring many people closer to this Rabbi’s way of faith. You can’t wave and your tears cloud your vision and you look down in sorrow and then you hear his voice.
“I am going to miss you John.”
Jesus Christ had a way with people. Jesus is a very personal God manifest on earth for us all to understand and He is gentle, meek and kind. He is the sort of guy that would juggle olives and make them appear out of thin air simply to show you He could do more then just expel demons. He has a smile that simply melts hearts and often all He needs to do is look at you with a gentle smile and your spirit hears the sentences.
Jesus wants the mentally ill set free and he still cares about today’s Schizophrenics like me. It’s not a strange thing for a person today to have multiple bad voices talking to them. It’s not uncommon for people to have to be locked up and put away so they won’t kill themselves and others.
This man mentioned in the Gospels like the woman at the well became one of the first evangelists that was personally commissioned by Jesus Christ. Some of the best healers in the world were once sick with a disease that was incurable and when the Lord set them free they began a life of preaching the good news and healing others. I have no doubt that this man would have had the compassion on the sick of his town that He returned to and the anointing to heal in the name of the Jesus he had met. He had a powerful testimony and as he shared it I believe that many would have had their faith strengthened.
It is not mentioned in the Bible, but I think my Jesus, the one I know quite well might have popped into His town a few years later to lay hands on some of the new converts that this man would have raised up. Whether this happened or not, I know at Pentecost this man would have got the full anointing drop on him out of the clouds.
We tend to read the Bible and skip over passages like this. I have a little understanding of what it is like to have hundreds of angry voices in your head screaming and swearing at you. One day it happened to me for half an hour that up to 1000 voices were shouting at each other and swearing very badly at Jesus. I was told later by Jesus that he had taken me to a place in hell. So I can relate a little to this man.
I also know what is like to see Jesus leave on a boat and be crying. One day some two years ago I met a very anointed man of God. He was the first man in the world that convinced me you could have a worry free, fear free, sinless and holy and powerful life lived by faith. You see the likes of Benny Hinn but this man I met in person and conversed with and spent a week under his profound teaching. Meeting Mutu was like meeting an apostle out of the Bible. There seemed no question that you could ask him that he didn’t have the answer for and multiple scriptures to show you to support the answer. One time in a lounge room in a house I heard him preach for six hours and I was unhappy that we had to leave before he was finished. No one in my life has ever had me so interested and enthralled for six hours straight.
In the middle of that day my eyes filled with tears and I said to him that I was going to miss him when he flew back to Malaysia. He laughed and grinned like Jesus in the boat in my dramatization and said, “Miss me Matthew? You’ve got Jesus!”
Four days later at the airport we were at the window watching him walk along a path to the plane. Some people in our group closest to the window waved at him and he left the path and came up to the window and waved. I am no good at goodbyes and so I was not where he could see me. He looked and waved to all the people and then made a sign with his hands to say that he wanted the people in the front to part. When they parted he looked at me and mouthed the words. “I love you.”
I turned away from him and walked away from everyone and began to weep. I cried for twenty minutes and I just couldn’t stop crying. I knew Mutu wasn’t Jesus, but he was the closest man I had ever seen that was like Jesus and I felt that I had a living Jesus leaving me behind.
The next day as I read the Bible the Holy Spirit directed me to this Bible passage the story was taken from above and the Holy Spirit told me I was feeling just like that man. Perhaps it’s that, perhaps it’s my own mental illness and the fact that I love to write fiction that I was able to put this together for you.
Look to Jesus, he is still juggling olives!